This is my first blog and i have to give a girl Haylie credit her sight made me want to continue to a viral level

I've Always had an issue with food. I don't think for the past 5 years I've eaten a 'Normal' balanced three meals a day. Not even including Basic Training.

I went though stages in my life where i was in the military and everything was at a fat pasted, i never really had to worry about counting calories, or watching my food intake. I could just eat junk food and not have to worry about anything. 

Before the military i had to not eat breakfast and lunch just to maintain a steady weight. I could eat a little dinner which would consist of 700-900 Cals at the time. 

Before the military i was a fat 145 but it was not as bad as what i weighed before i joined the military

There was a boy Chris i was with and i didn't care about what i had ate, We lived on a farm so family meals were a big thing, by big i mean there were full sized meals like 2000 a meal. his mom made sure i ate well by making me vegetarian chicken patty's and hamburger. at the end of our relationship i weighed 185 THAT HUGE!

In order for me to even join the military i had to way at max 150, for me to even be able to sign the paper work at meps for my contract. I only had one month to make my weight or i had to wait a wholenother year to try to join the military. So the whole month i didn't eat anything and only drank lo calorie crustal light water. sometimes i would splurge and eat 5-6 chips while watching TV with my mom watching lost or bones on TV. At the 

In order for me to join the military i had to way 150 for me to be able to sign the paperwork and go to meps and sign my contract.
i had one month not to eat anything. Some days i would splirge and eat like 5-6 chips while my family watched bones or lost on tv. I did end up lossing all the weight i need to i lost 32 pounds and looked good for well what i though.


Everyone was asking me how i did it and telling me i looked great


I went from a size 18 Jeans to a size 8 

So on to me now I recently got discarged from the military and i cant seam to find a job anywhere, ive been out of work for almost 5 months and i havent done anything but play video games and saulk. I was a nice 130 or 127 on a good day while i was in the military but now im back to 145. Thats gross to me.

So I write this now on Wednesday the 9th at 145 and my height is 5'5. I am disgustingly obsese and I hate myself. I NEED some strict rules enforcing on my eating pattern, not only to lose weight but to gain back some 'control' (i.e not binge) I did attempt the Weight Watchers diet but felt that eating 1500 calories a day was too much for me to eat especially seine i'm a vegetarian.

This diet seams to be perfect to me i have a family reunion on a beach for a week and i don't want to show up the same fat weight at Nick ( My amazing Husbands) Family condo. I want to finally be the thin pretty one in his family. This will be the first time i get to see his whole  family since we got married when i was in the military, we didn't get a wedding just went to court. So.. I would finally like the spot light to be on me and for it to feel amazing, i want everyone to be jealous! 


It seems the only way I can stick to a 'diet' is if the rules are strict, like the ABC diet. Basically you stick to a calorie restriction for 50 days ( the same amount that is left till we go to his family reunion we say White Lake not because of the people is a actual lake)  and the daily amount of calories vary from 0-800. For example on day 1 you eat 500 calories, day 2 200 calories, day 3 nothing...etc. It supposedly tricks your body's metabolism out of starvation mode and speeds up weight loss. I don't know how true this is but I like the way it's 50 days (so there's a finish line/goal) and also the calories change daily so there's a variety in what you can eat each day. Little daily targets will keep me motivated and once I've completed each day I'll get that feeling of being in control back....and hopefully lose a lot of weight.